Her Feelings

She is just a little girl; he is supposed to be her father
He only wants to use her, abuse her
She goes to her room and searches for a place to hide
He always finds her ~ she always cries
He has beaten her, held her down, taken off her clothes
She can’t scream, she can’t breathe
She can only pray for it to stop
She wonders what she did that was so wrong
Days go by, years go by.
But it never stops
He told her lies, took away her life, left her with no future
Now he is gone, but she still hurts
She trusts no one, she feels alone
Sometimes she can’t understand “good” and “bad”
She looks at the cuts she has made on her body
She knows what each cut stands for
She can’t get it out of her head,
The pain is too much
She prays to die
She doesn’t sleep, she can’t close her eyes
She can feel the pain, she tries not to cry
She keeps to herself, the memories are overwhelming
She can’t stand being in her own skin
She cuts, starves, purges….
These things take the pain away….for a minute
She is stuck with these memories, alone in this space.