Your physical and emotional pain is so great; I wish that I could take it all away. I wish that you had that special bean bag as you described that you could curl up in and find some piece of comfort or solace. I realize this is email and "far away", but I can hear you, your tears, and your words as if spoken directly to me. I realize this does not make it go away or make it better. You are courageous soul and when I asked about your physical discomfort TH, it is/was because I wish to help to keep working at finding a way to live in your body AND mind with more coherence and peace. They are closely connected, as you know... Of course I also want to know about all that you write here. I want you to hold on to whatever safe place you create and keep it with you so you can revisit this place and experience. We can work in session to strengthen this place if you would like. Your choice. You are also welcome to borrow my rock if you want to. I will drop it off at my office for you to have this weekend.
Soothing words and rest can only help.... Stay in the now with what you are and feel (even though it hurts and feels weak) and don't worry about tomorrow. You will do what you need you to tomorrow....not for today
Your compassionate work on yourself today is significant and honorable and it takes a lot of strength and vulnerability together.
You are in my thoughts tonight while I send imaginary "angels" to comfort you.