Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Wave white flag in the darkness...no one sees me

Im tired and sick. Like physically and crazy sick.
pink pen white paper.
whats wrong with me
whats wrong with me for even writing at all - like right into cyber space.
no one gives a shit. But everyoen loves the fake girl . shes great.
they will never understand - and thats my fault isnt it
even tho they wouldn't like this fucked up whore.
you cant alwasy choose. DT said there was always a choice.
i don't think thats true. there isnt always a choice.
sometiems theres only this.
and it goes on and on until you stop breathing.
for me, i think he did kill me. i think i died a long time ago but my brain hsasn't yet sent the message to heart. once that message gets there then it will stop and it will all be over.
i'll miss you too. i know you tried ot help me. but i was way to fucked up to help.
i often wonder waht comes next.
maybe nothing. maybe everything.
im way to sad and fucked up to do anymore.
all me because im too stupid to do what you say. im to dumb to learn ti.
youre such a stupid girl
you will never be anything
write that down in your book to go tell granny
your as dumb as your m other
you are a whore
you are bad
you cant stop me
im the man of the hosue
im smart your dumb
im the man your the stupid whore girl
you are nothing
you are less than nthing
i know that
you know that
we can see it
we wont be surprised
hope no more hope
all my fault


  1. Grace, I am so very sorry!
    Your father was such an evil and tormented man.

    Again, dear one, I know as hard as it is to believe, "It Was Not Your Fault!"

    Safe Hugs

  2. He is the one. Call HIM the names. He earned them. He is the whore. Grace, why don't you write a story where the man-whore gets what's coming to him? I did that once. It helped.


  3. Dearest Grace,

    I am hearing you.

    Blessings and safe hugs,


  4. JBR, yeah, when "rational" Grace is in charge of this body, then I can see it...but that girl seems to be around less and less these days.

    Lynn, thank you for that suggestion. I think that's a great idea!! I'm going to TT DT about it tomorrow - last week we talked about my 'displaced' anger...

    Tammy, thank you for listening...