Monday, August 17, 2009
God bless that child with the dirty face...she leaves the light on...
I walk around in the darkness at night.
I sit in the darkness at night.
I do this so I can stay hidden.
DT asks, "Hidden from what, Grace? Hidden from people outside the house or inside the house?"
Grace whispers, "Both."
Sometimes at night I wake up from a nightmare so sick to my stomach that I have to run to the bathroom to vomit. On my way back to bed, I pass the doorway that leads into the hall. DD's bathroom is at the end of the hallway. There's a plug-in air-freshener with a light right outside her bathroom. The bathroom door is open. I often see someone standing there. Sometimes I run back to bed and hide under the covers, sometimes I walk back and take another look to see if there's really someone there. But I never step out of my room. Fear keeps me from investigating further.
Bad things happen in the dark and yet there is no way to stay hidden in the light.
I'm caught in this paradoxical conundrum of which is less frightening: darkness or light.
DT says I should keep a light on.
I say I can only hide in the darkness.
DT says I don't need to hide now.
I say I do and DT does not know because she is not here with me when it's dark.
Tonight, DT says, "as they say in the Motel 6 commercials, "we'll leave the light on..."...if you get my gist."Tonight, Grace says, "Motel 6? Gawd...can't I at least stay at the Courtyard or the Hampton? It's not like I'm asking for the Regent Beverly Wilshire on Rodeo Drive...but Motel 6?" I don't think they even paid there light bill this month!
And between you and me (ok, I've already said this to DT) that woman is cheap...