Monday, August 10, 2009

After a 2 day respite at the Spa of Self-Destruction~ Grace has returned ~ not so relaxed and nurtured.

...more like, bruised and broken.

Well, it’s Monday, Bloody, Monday. I hope U2 won’t mind my changing the title of their song. My guess is they probably wouldn’t be thrilled but since I am a no body, I’m pretty confident they won’t even know it happened.

I come here today to confess that it was a shitty weekend. Friday evening was okay until around 11pm, that’s when it got bad and it just tumbled downhill from there. Friday nights are always bad for me, but lately I have been able to alleviate some of that by spending time with DH.

DT left for her vacation last Friday so I had mentally prepared myself and proactively planned out the evening. Both Dear Son and Dear Daughter had requested sleepovers, which I granted – so I thought they would be occupied playing with their friends which would allow DH and I to watch a movie or two (DISTRACTION!) and I would be able to keep out of my head and stay in charge. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out that way and DS and friend decided to watch baseball in the man-cave with DH which left me alone (well, with the other freaks who live inside of me) while DD and her friend were upstairs playing Barbie’s.

Bad idea! Bad thoughts led to bounteous amounts of vodka Hey –I thought if I got the 5 year old inebriated she would pass out and leave me alone – didn’t work. That kid has a very high alcohol tolerance! And so it began…fighters! Take your corners! Unfortunately there was lots of “hitting below the belt” which is not legal, but the referee was unavailable to call it.

The main problem with the boxing matches that these girls continue to play out, is that just like then, it’s MY body who takes the brunt force of the hits, the cuts, the burns, the bruises, the alcohol and pills, and after about round 5, I wonder how much a body can take before it just sends the message to the brain that the fight is OVER & calls it. And as the ding of the last bell echoes through the boxing ring the sad reality is: No one wins.

I wonder because I know that it's only a matter of time.


  1. Hi Grace,

    Good to see you are back. I had a feeling it was a rough weekend.

    Blessings and safe Hugs,


  2. Gracie, I just realized this is a two parter.

    I wish the others would just calm down and listen to the adult Gracie and to see that she is really in charge and will protect them.

    (((((Safe Hugs to all))))

  3. Hi Tammy, quite turburlent, yes. I thought best to stay off the computer lest I post some crazy 'inuendo' leading someone else to track me down by my URL and send the men in the white coats to take me away. Could still go that way this week.

    JBR, yeah, thank you for the hug. There's no cohesiveness in my body. They are all enemies and it's open season for the crazy-grace' opposed to the season for saving-grace.

    I'm scared tonight will be a repeat performance due to DTs vaca and I typically have an appointment w/her on Mondays and she always emails me on Monday night. Strap in!

    *HUGE SIGH* Grace longingly looks at the liquor cabinet but trying to restrain....

  4. Dear one I know how difficult it must be for you not to be able to see DT until she returns from vacation. If you can just keep that one positive thought, that she will be returning and you will once again be able to meet with her, that might just help a bit with your anxiety and get you and the little ones through the next few days.