You put your ativan in my altoids! No, you put your altoids in my ativan!

Someone mixed my mind-numbing drugs in with my curiously strong breath-mints, leaving me in a state of minty-breath, drunken, numbness all weekend l-o-n-g! Okay, that's not entirely accurate. The 'numbness' was due to the the excessive amounts of ativan, the 'drunkenness' was likely due to the abundant amount of grey goose...and well...the minty breath was because of the curiously strong breath mints.

And I'm pretty sure my dear daughter's friend was happy to return to her calming home environment after watching me dance around the kitchen with headphones on singing Avril Lavigne, "Girlfriend" while cleaning the kitchen which was left in shambles by 4 children making sundaes ~ with all the toppings! (Minimal cherries though...I snuck some of them out to go with the vodka/cranberry juice). God says to do your *chores* with a happy heart ~ hey - maybe that's where Marsha-Marsha-Marsha got her half/smile bullshit...she is, after all, the flying nun! For the record, while singing, I did leave out the expletives...so as long as she is unable to read lips, we're good. And surely, if I had loudly proclaimed, "Hell yeah, I'm the mother fucking princess," I would have received a phone call from her mother by now.

Once the music stops...the voices start! Enter: ATIVAN COCKTAIL

No need to separate them now! They're as good as reese's peanut butter cups! I proclaim LOUDLY! Mix ALL your ativan with your altoids! Then, if you OD, stop breathing, and someone finds you and proceeds to try CPR~ despite the fact that you haven't showered or brushed your teeth in 2 days~ your breath will falsify the documents because your breath will smell like peppermint...and Grey Goose.

Does Grey Goose come in peppermint flavor?