Can someone please hand me some duct tape?

I have experienced thoughts that have turned into unrestrained spoken words. At first I was nervous that people now had the ability to read my mind but then I realized that my mind was now speaking without consulting with me first! Now, obviously from my past, I was not a candidate for *finishing school* ~ but despite the fact that I got an “incomplete” in Shut Up & Behave class…brought to you by the Flying Nun…I do have quite impressive interpersonal skills.

Unfortunately, these skills have been on vacation this week. I have a couple of different thoughts on why this has happened. My initial thought is that DT accidently packed my skills away in her luggage when she left on the jet plane. However, the rational Grace told me that I was delusional and that couldn’t really happen. And even if it was possible, DT wouldn’t do that, she’s a good DT (even though the angry teenager hates her…and the 5 year old feels abandoned this week) – she would want us to do well while she was gone, so, for the most part I circular filed that idea…I didn’t shred it though – so I have occasionally taken it out of the circular file to re-read again.

My second thought is that because DT is on vacation and unavailable, the ability to actually be myself is feeling uneasy and invalidated this week and as a result I have said a few things I shouldn’t have. Nothing horrible, but certainly ‘impolite’. But strangely, I don’t realize I’ve even said anything until after the words are ‘out there’ and cannot be taken back.

Let me give an example. Stalker co-worker (SCW) has been working on a ‘project’ this week. Now, SCW tends to make things um…2000x more difficult than they need to be, thereby creating a cluster for himself and drama for his staff. Frankly, in my opinion, he just likes the attention of making a big production out of things. So yesterday, I walk by his office and he had 4000 pieces of paper stacked everywhere! On my return trip (I have to walk by his office to get anywhere in the building, even the bathroom!) he came around the corner and I busted out laughing right in front of him. Like that “gut-wrenching” I’m totally laughing AT you and not with you, kinda laugh. He looked ridiculous! His tie was crooked, as were his geeky glasses. His hair was sticking up everywhere, he was sweating and he had this crazed look on his face. Okay, maybe the crazed look is normal... It was hilarious! He had made this 4 hour project into this mammoth 4 day task stressing not only himself to the max, but also his staff.

Anyway, normally, I would have the restraint to wait until I got into my own office and closed the door before I started laughing –but nope – all I kept thinking was he looked just like that weird guy from Office Space searching for his stapler. But SCW didn’t find it nearly as funny as I did.

So, I’ve reasoned (in the crazy Grace way of 'reason') that THIS is another reason why DT should not go on vacation…I have lost my ability to think before I speak!