“Grace, we cannot do trauma processing until you have the skills to regulate your emotions.” WHAT? Do you not see that you telling me I have no “skills” is a validation of him telling me I’m stupid. You telling me I should shut up and behave is him telling me I’m worthless and have nothing valuable to contribute. And I should shut up or be beaten!
Don’t you get it? You preached DBT for so long, you say you didn’t *make* me go to the classes, but, in my world, that’s no different than trying to fight, but never being heard, and the fighting just makes it worse (he beat me/fucked me ~ you “changed” your rules) so I roll over and take it. Because obviously I am stupid and worthless and I should shut up because I don’t know what’s best for me.
And now ANYTHING that resembles DBT is like the smell of bleach to me. Can you hear that? You forced it on me for so long last year that I finally realized that fighting you wouldn’t do any good anymore – so I rolled over – paid the 2 grand so I could feel Marsha Linehan’s dick shoved down my throat instead of my father’s!
So if DBT is the only road out of this hell, we should just pack it up now, DT, because it ain’t going to happen. Can you hear that? What? You were “concerned” about my *skills* and my “ability to keep myself safe last year”…well, guess what? Now ANYTHING that resembles DBT sends me into a fit of rage, complimented by some sort of "self-injury". And I am WAY closer to the edge than you think - but you sure don't seem so "concerned" now, do you? I guess there's a "time limit" on concern... OR! **Grace is thinking bad thoughts about DTs changes coinciding w/her newfound relationship – but she isn't allowed to say that** Because guess what...just because you don't "help" me at night anymore, and just because you refuse to call me back when you're @ the hospital or "busy" - doesn't mean the shit fucking stops for me! Gee, DT, if a tree falls in the forest does it still make a sound even if no one is in the forest?
And as *maladaptive* as that may seem to you – well, I guess the only thing I can “offer” in response is: I’m a crazy bitch! If I were normal I wouldn’t need therapy at all, would I?
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!