Not only did psycho angry girl cut me last night, she sent some emails to DT. Emails that were discovered today when I checked my sent file. Of course, being on vacation, DT won’t read them. PAG wants to cut the whiny baby out of my body. She hates her. She wants DT to go away. She hates her too.
Below is an excerpt from the emails sent to DT. It’s PAG’s anger that scares me. She will kill me- it’s only a matter of time. She won’t stop until it happens. She has no will to live she wants only to escape the endless pain.
Angry Psycho Girl: I am not fearful of death. Fucking welcome it! Hope u enjoyed ur vacation! Thanks for caring and taking my "fear" seriously" (huge amounts of dripping poisonous saarcasm!)Ur so great and I'm so nothing! So I shouldn't be missed! and I guess ur "best" doesn't include calling me bk n 24 hrs- does it? For future reference, get a fucking back-up! There will be times when the "crazy" clients can't wait for a week to fucking deal w/a "non-existent" fear!!! Fuck u and ur fucking rose colored glasses! I'm not afraid of fuckingb dyoing! Dying will be a fucking relief!!! Fuck that whore! Fuck that filthy whore! She fucking Ruined all of it! Fucking hate u! I fucking hate u and ur fucking "stay present" u fucking stay present in my body every fucking nite! I fucking told u it was bad! Vbut as usual, u blew me off "its only 3 emails" no big deal" fuck u!!! It may not be a big deal to u, but it was a huge fuckibg deal to me!!! Buit fuck it! Obviously that wasn't impt to u! Becuz I don't matter! Nothing here that can hurt ne right now!?!?U go ahead and believe that - w/ur rose colored glasses on, dt- becuz he will kkill me. And when he does, don't fucking preach "theresz nothing that can hurt u right now, grace" nothing.Ur so fucking wrong about that! And when he does, don't fucking preach "theresz nothing that can hurt u right now, grace" nothing. Ur so fucking wrong about that! In fact, I'm offended tht u even said it! How conridictoruy of ur "ur fear is real to u- I've nvr said it isant" Really? That's not what ur fucking saying now!? I hope when I'm dead u don't preach that shit to someone else. I hope if someone else comes to u and tells u he's going to kill her u fucking think about me and what happened to me- and fucking believe ui! Becuz it IS real right the fuck now!!!! It is fucking real!!! This could not have worked out better! Fucking whore is aware that u don't hear her now- so she won't tell anything! We are done- I can out her out of her misery! Finally!!!
It will never stop. There is no way it will ever stop. I am discouraged and hurting. There is no escape. There are no answers. There is nothing but this endless pain. And she doesn’t care. I tried to tell her, but she doesn’t listen. It’s worse when she’s gone. And she can kiss my ass with her “Put it in a safe container” – HELLO!!!! There’s no way to contain it! It’s like trying to put pour rain back into a cloud! Why the hell can’t she see that? There’s no way to ‘check’ the pain at the door when I fucking leave her office! It’s fucking Hotel California! There is no escape! I cannot leave.