I WANT ANSWERS!
And DT was so nice to me on Sunday night...and she spoke so calm and so caring and she called the 5 year old sweetie - and the little girl desperately wanted DT to hold her and tuck her in and kiss her good night and wake up the next morning with DT still there.
She wants DT to be her mother - to be something she never had. But it will never be. I never had a mother. I'll never have a mother. And that sucks!
And when DT acts all 'motherly' it hurts even more ~ because she isn't the 5 year old's mother, and she isn't going to reparent her...and it SUCKS! And I hate it!
I just wanted a mother to love me and protect me and teach me how to love and trust. Why the hell is that too much to ask???? God? Can you hear me now? Wanna let me in on the secret as to why the child abusing, satanic, fuckers were chosen as MY parents? Just curious! Maybe if I knew the "reason" and what I'm supposed to "learn" from it - it might make it a bit easier to swallow!