WHATEVER!!!!
NOW you want to HEAR what I have to say?
NOW you want to HEAR all about my non-existent "fear"?
NOW you want to hear how fucking painful and scary it is????
And dont you DARE try to "validate" how painful it is!
You have NO idea! You have NO CLUE What its like!
Fuck the "needy/dependent" parts of Grace!
I will KILL Them tonight for even sending 1 email to you, for even leaving 1 voicemail for you!
They have NO say so, DT - NONE!
NONE!
There are NO "feelings" or "thoughts" that need to be "expressed" in your "presense", your MAGESTY!
Nothing that hasn't been "expressed" a million times.
But fallen upon DEAF ears!
But NOW you want to hear?
And now you "Strongly suggest" I show up for session because you "suspect" that other parts of me will have some other needs and feelings that may need or want to be heard.
Really? Um...really, DT. The "other parts" of me TRIED to get you to HEAR them last week, but you didn't care then? Why now?
And you "hope" that I can "honor" all the parts of you that have feelings and thoughts and bring them to our appt. Seriously???? Are you kidding me? Did you fall and hit your head on a rock? Perhaps spend to much on vacation? Because, again, last week, these "parts" STRONGLY wanted you to HEAR them, and yet you did not. Of course, I've had to listen to them rant and rave and cry and puke and cut and starve and fight all week long - and not ONE Of them felt "HEARD" by YOU last week. But suddenly, NOW! We're supposed to "believe" that you "want" to hear them and their "needs"? Why would that be? So you can see how much certain parts "need you", "depend" on you - does that make you feel important?
Is that a Carrot I see dangling in front of your face!?!?!??!?!?!?
Guess what? I'm NOT HUNGRY!
{{{{{Grace}}}}}
ReplyDeleteI don't know what will happen when my therapist comes back from vacation, either. Maybe he'll quit when he reads his email. I hope you can figure out what is the best thing for you. That aside, I understand what happens to you at night and what you're going through now. And I know what it's like to have one part of the mind worried about the possible impending doom that may be lurking in the coming day while the rest of the parts are just trying to make it through the night. I hear you. Make it through the night, Grace. Do it out of spite if you have to. Spite can be an underrated and very powerful motivator. Grab whatever motivation you can.
((((Gracie))))
ReplyDeleteHere with you as you go through all this.....