Sunday, September 6, 2009

2 out of 3 ain't bad...

A couple of weeks ago, I was driving with a close friend of mine and she turned to me, out of the blue, and asked me this question: "Grace, did you want to get married?"

It took me a minute to decide how I wanted to respond to this question.
My first thought was: Isn't that what we're supposed to do?

I wanted so badly to grow up and be normal. Somewhere in my mind - that meant that I would go to college, marry the 'right boy', have 2 children (a boy and a girl, in that order), have a beautiful house (not a trailer, a HOUSE) and a Labrador retriever.

Education - Check
Married Check
Kids- boy, girl - Check
House in the suburbs - Check
Retriever - Check

Tonight DH called me into the mancave to watch Meatloaf, live and in concert. And when Meatloaf sang his famous song, "2 out of 3 ain't bad" - a voice inside of me, spoke out loud, "Grace, you can fool others, and you can pretend you're normal, but you don't even know the meaning of the word *Love*".

Do I know what love is? I don't know...

I am living the American Dream
I grew up in the American Nightmare

Being fucked by your father for years tends to taint your view of the word *love*...

1 comment:

  1. Gracie, it is hard for us who have been abused to understand what "love" was intended to be. But, one can, in time.