DT: "What do you need right now. You don't have to do this in isolation. "
DT: "What do you need right now? I am not afraid of the little girl."
DT: "What do you need right now? If you need something I am here to listen."
DT: "If you don't think you are safe, then what do you need from me or others or yourself?"
Why does it matter what I "NEED"? Why do you ask me when you are not going to be able to grant that/those "NEED(S)"?
Is my Survivor Fairy Godmother" asking you for a list of "Grace's NEEDS" so she can come wave her magic wand, sing, bippity, boppity, boo...and I'll become an *unfucked* kid? Well, why didn't you say so!
Here's my list for the Godmother:
I NEED to be 'unfucked'. I NEED the voices in my head to stop. I NEEDED my mother to love me. I NEEDED my evil SF not to touch me. I NEED the flashbacks to stop. I NEED my body not to hurt. I NEED the fear to stop. I NEED for you, DT, to *be here* for me NOW like you WERE then. I NEEDED to be loved by my parents. I NEED someone to teach me what love really is. I NEED someone to show me that *trust* really does exist in this world. I NEED you to help me at night when I am suicidal and dissociative. I NEED you to be available after 10pm, when the hell started, you know, like you used to be...back when you actually *cared* about what I NEEDED. I NEED the little girl to stop whining and crying. I need to not have physical symptoms that relate to then. I NEED the nightmares to stop. I NEED the constant headaches to stop. I NEED my hips and my back to stop hurting. I NEED to stop having recurrent UTIs. I NEED the Psycho Angry Girl to stop hurting me. I NEED to sleep. I NEED to want to live before I die. I NEED you to hear me.
I'm shocked! NOT!
I NEED you to STOP asking me what I *NEED* ~ Since we both know that those *NEEDS* will NEVER be my reality, and that it is actually more painful to ask for what you NEED and not get that need met, then it is to keep your *NEEDS* to yourself. At least that's true for me.
Here's to: *UNMET NEEDS*