If you don’t have respect for their strength you can’t be of any help. It’s a privilege that they let you in – there’s no reason they should trust you – none. You can’t know their terror – It’s your worst nightmare come true – a nightmare from which you can never awaken. It’s unrelenting. There has been no safety: no one, no time, no thing – all was tainted. Hope was obliterated – time and time again.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
OLY OLY OXEN FREE!
He yells at night: Gracie, Come out, come out, where ever you are...
OLY OLY OXEN FREE
She has been playing hide and seek at night.
Last night was really bad... She LOST it emotionally! and there was no rationalizing with her.
Friday night/night before Halloween combination sent her over the edge.
She tries desperately to find a safe place so he cannot find her, so he cannot hurt her.
Last night she hid in the laundry room
she hid in the office
she hid in the chair, covered by blankets
she hid on the guest room where she left her bean bag pillow
The call log on the phone tells she made several calls to the therapist,
perhaps in an effort to feel safe.
There is no safe place for her at night.
She searches and searches...
wandering the house at night...
seeking shelter from the storm anywhere she can.
She wonders when it will stop
She feels small and tired, weak and afraid...all the time.