Sunday, October 25, 2009

I will hold you till the hurt is gone...

When I was a child I would imagine myself as an angel in a peaceful place with nothing but white surrounding me. My body was not my own ~ In my mind I was tall and beautiful, wearing a exquisite flowing white gown with pearls sewn delicately into satin…and striking white wings.

And I was be surrounded by other angels.

Everyone thinks of angels as being purity and light~ peaceful. But I think angels are agonizing creatures. We call on them only when we are desperate and hurting, frightened and hopeless. And they take our pain and internalize it and it forever becomes a part of them.

I want to believe that I was sent here ease the suffering of other people. That somehow, everything I have endured will somehow help others. Not on a grand scale ~I am certainly not a prophet. But maybe I would feel a sense of peace in knowing I had a purpose in this life ~ to help and to heal their spirits and take on their pain when they were unable to do it any longer. To give them something I never had, something I will never have.

There’s so much pain in the world. At times I do not believe I belong here in this world. And I am searching for a way to anchor my soul here so it does not threaten to fly away.

Where have all the angels gone?
Have the demons frightened them away?


  1. Anchor to friends like me, honey. I don't want you to fly away. I would miss you terribly.

    And you know that we can't give things to others that we do not possess in the first place, right? And you don' have to take on anyone else's pain. Maybe you can help others by being an example. You are a rare breed, sweetie. YOU ARE HONEST. What an example! I'm proud to know you.