Sunday, October 4, 2009

I want a new drug...

It takes the drugs that it is given…it does this whenever its told….it takes the drugs again and again, until its resolved of its sins….

THESE are just the drugs I have at my immediate disposal.

These are all drugs a reputable, seemingly intelligent, psychiatrist prescribed for an admitted mentally ill crazy woman ~ as decribed by her seemingly intelligent psycotherapist as this: Severe PTSD symptoms, depression and angersleep disturbance, recurring suicidal ideation and increased self-injurious behavior.ETOH consumption increased as a result. Acting out in therapeutic alliance - issues with safety and trust. Eating disorder continues but not life threatening. Patient needs assistance with distress tolerance, containment and emotion regulation as well as support around poor self care and self destructive behavior patterns.

I am NOT planning to off myself today
I am only planning to utilize the tangible tools given to me by a trusted professional until the pain stops...


  1. Sweet Grace,
    I have been where you are. It's a dark and angry place. I'm so sorry you feel like this. I wish I could help.
    Would it help to have someone to contact? Someone to open up to?
    I will give you my email, if you want... I would be happy to hear anything you want to say. I'm not a therapist, but I am very capable of being unconditionally accepting... and being there for you if it would help.

    Love and peace....
    and hope

  2. Are you okay, Grace? I've been a little worried about you.

  3. Hey Grace, I hope y'all are okay. Please check in, I know it is selfish to ask but I am worried.

  4. I'm sorry for not responded sooner. My intention was not to worry anyone. I haven't been in a good place, which makes it even harder for me. I have tried to stay away for the fear of writing out my true feelings and then receiving some asshole unsupportive comments.
    Thank you for caring - I appreicate your being here, I really do...
    ~ Grace