Tuesday, October 27, 2009

My friend died of cancer today

She was 38.
It was not unexpected, she was in hospice care, terminal brain cancer...but she was not even 40 years old.
She DIED!  She didn't have a choice - and I do!
Tell me how that's "Fair"?
Tell me why God chose to take my friend, "A" who was living her life happily along -and is stricken with brain cancer?
Tell me why God takes Amy - 38 years old?
Tell me why that's "fair"????
Tell me why it's "Fair" that kids get fucked and people suffer and die when they are young and in the prime of their life?
Tell my friend's family why that's "fair"!
There is no "fairness" and that really sucks!
And don't say "it was her time"  NO!  It wasn't!  I'll bet her parents who raised her and then took care of her while she DIED don't think it was her time!

I would really appreciate it - if someone "spiritual" someone "close" to God - could please enlighten me on why my friend Amy died today?  And why all these kids are suffering as they're being fucked and beaten by their parents...because I surely cannot make any sense of it!!!!  Of course I'm sure it must be because she didnt pray enough, or all the kids who were and are being fucked didn't pray enough.

Tell me what the hell is the point of any of it?  To suffer so you can just DIE in pain and humiliation???
Because I truly and honestly, from the bottom of my heart, do not fucking get it!

Not trying to be offensive...but I won't hold my breath for any *answers*  The closest thing I had to answers flew the coop when there was a discovery during an archeological dig - I surely don't expect any deep answers to this quesion!

And I am mad as hell!!!


  1. hugs from me also. Its always difficult to deal with death especially so when it comes unexpected and to those who deserve so much more. Chris Rea has a song about a child asking parent about a friend who had been abused and beaten to death. Sad, and if your a believer (I'm agnostic ) it gives hope. Yet hope should always exist because the only certainty in the world is the fact that always always things change, nothing stays the same. Peace be with you at this sad time.
    (sorry am a bit of a pc klutz so can only go under anon, got here via zansashes.)

  2. (((((HUGS)))))

    I am so so sorry for your loss. No it isn't fair, the world isn't fair. :(
    Many hugs and lots of love coming your way.

  3. I am by no means close to God. I'm still searching for a God, for my God. Logically, if there is a God (of the most popular kind) then life would be fair. Your dear friend's valuable life would not have ended as it did, and little children would not be treated so badly they split their personalities. No, I'm not sure there is a God, because life is anything but fair.

    I cried for you and your friend just reading about her. I am so sorry that her life ended as it has and no, I don't believe everyone has a "time" to die. Religious people often make up stuff like that to get them thru the day, and that's okay because I've made up that there isn't a God - to get ME thru the day. Many hugs to you and her family.

  4. (((Grace)))
    I'm so sorry you have to live through this loss... and you're right, it isn't fair. Life isn't fair. Nobody ever said it would be... but still we want to find it anyway. I guess its a lesson in appreciating what we have because it could all be gone in a moment...
    I lost a cousing to brain cancer last year. She was 51. Yes, she made it to 40, and even 50, but she was not done living... and it wasn't fair at all... but there it is.

    God is holding you in his hands, and sometimes we can't feel it and we forget... but your friend will always know, now. She will forever feel that loving hold.

  5. ((((Gracie))))
    I am so very sorry for your loss dear one.