Thursday, October 15, 2009

It's Official ~ I am *Hiding*

I am officially hiding…hibernating. I have curled up as small as I can, tucked myself away in the corner and shut down.

I feel sick & I feel overwhelmed and I want to be alone.

I was triggered big time at the dentist this morning when they had to make an impression of my teeth and the dental hygienist fills this HUGE mouth piece with this gross pink stuff which she then proceeded to stick into my mouth and when she pressed it up into my teeth the pink stuff literally filled my mouth to the point I gagged and thought I was going to throw up. Only a minute and a half...that's what she kept telling me. But by then I could no longer hear her talking. I closed my eyes and left. Then afterwards she tried to wipe the leftover 'goo' off of my lips and it was just too much! And tomorrow I have to go back for a two hour appointment. And I don't know if I can do it.

I don't know if I can do anything right now.
Sometimes it’s just too much.

“If you would like to leave a message, feel free to do so, and I will do my best to get back with you…”…well, when and if I can.

Until Then ~ Gracie


  1. Still here. You can get back to me whenever you're able.


  2. Dear one, I am so very sorry for the triggering. While I was reading your post, I knew where you were heading with it. I am so very truly sorry.

    I pray today will be easier for you dear....


  3. The dentist! Aaaaccckkk! I understand totally. The last time I had to go I took anti-anxiety medication to get through it. I know how triggering it can be. I wish you strength, courage and comfort. Safe, gentle hugs ((((((((((Grace))))))))))

  4. Sweetheart, you don't have to do it alone.
    I miss you.

  5. Gosh I know exactly how you feel. I just had to go through that 6 months ago as well. I even had the impression thing done as well. UGH!!!! I know that it was very triggering for you as it was for me too. Thanks to my good lil valium friend the next day, I was much calmer when I had to go back.
    Safe Hugs ((((((Gracie))))))

  6. Lynn, thank you for not leaving. And for understanding and not judging...ever!

    JBR, I made it through the next 3 1/2 hour appointment with the help of my dear friend Ms. Ativan (not too much - just enough)..and headphones. Now I have a dental reprieve until Nov 3rd

    Marj, I took an anti-anxiety too...I hate the dentist (not MY dentist) I should say I hate where it sends me...I'm not an 'anti-dentite' by any means...and I know it will be worth it, the pain of all the dental visits (internal and external) - but my smile will be "perfect"-and I was designed for public, not private...

    Shen, Thank you...I know you're *here*'s just hard, you know? Like someone else said that I didn't have to "do it alone" too - but then she turned around and said "we're all alone, really" - and I hate the mixed signals...they confuse the 5 year old and anger the teenager!

    Sapphire, It's awful isn't it!? I was better the next day too - again, thanks to my good friend, Ms. Ativan.