Tuesday, March 24, 2009

You'll never know...

You'll never know...
You'll never know how it feels to be powerless, numb to your actions and their consequences
You'll never know how it feels to be so far gone, to look into the mirror and not recognize the face of the person looking back at you with blank eyes and an unwritten expression
You'll never know how it feels to hate yourself for what and who you are, but still know that you can't change, that you're not that strong
You'll never know why I do it, or why I can't stop
You'll never know how it feels to think eyes are constantly starting through you
You'll never know what its like to have so much shame for yourself built up inside of you ~ threatening to boil over
You'll never know the pain of this disease, this chronic illness, or the fact that no one you seek help from seems to understand
You'll never know me, or how I feel inside
You'll never know how it feels to never be yourself, always an actress playing the role of a normal person with no 'problems'
You'll never know how powerless I feel at night, when the darkness falls and the memories come
You'll never know how afraid I am
You'll never know the taste of your own tears as you cry yourself to sleep at night
You'll never know, but if I told you, you'd 'pretend' to know how I feel, you'll 'pretend' to empathize' with me
But you'll never know

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