You'll never know...

You'll never know...

You'll never know how it feels to be powerless, numb to your actions and their consequences

You'll never know how it feels to be so far gone, to look into the mirror and not recognize the face of the person looking back at you with blank eyes and an unwritten expression

You'll never know how it feels to hate yourself for what and who you are, but still know that you can't change, that you're not that strong

You'll never know why I do it, or why I can't stop

You'll never know how it feels to think eyes are constantly starting through you

You'll never know what its like to have so much shame for yourself built up inside of you ~ threatening to boil over

You'll never know the pain of this disease, this chronic illness, or the fact that no one you seek help from seems to understand

You'll never know me, or how I feel inside

You'll never know how it feels to never be yourself, always an actress playing the role of a normal person with no 'problems'

You'll never know how powerless I feel at night, when the darkness falls and the memories come

You'll never know how afraid I am

You'll never know the taste of your own tears as you cry yourself to sleep at night

You'll never know, but if I told you, you'd 'pretend' to know how I feel, you'll 'pretend' to empathize' with me

But you'll never know