Someone recently said to me, “God does not give you more than you can handle.” That’s really been weighing on my mind, it inches to the surface, and I feel a surge of anger, then it’s tucked back into the back of my mind. Good does not give you more than you can handle? I know my grandma believed that with all of her heart. Week after week, she would pray for the salvation of my mother, my step-father, my brothers and I. Every single night, she was down on her knees praying for redemption, and thanking God for the gifts he has given to her. And she believed it! I admired her strength and her belief in God, because I learned as a small child that God can give you more than you can handle, and when that happens , and you reach out for help, sometimes there’s no one there. I’m not going to sit here and write out examples and questions…such as, really, then why do children suffer and die from cancer?...because I’m sure there are those out there who can provide justification for that.
Sometimes I would ask my grandma about her unending faith in God. “Grandma, what if God doesn’t answer? Is he too busy? “ I’d ask. And grandma would answer, “Grace, you just need to pray harder, God will hear you…just pray harder.” And I would remember her words at night,when I was scared and alone, I would think about her words when my step-father would touch me, and I would pray harder.
God doesn’t give you more than you can handle! Now, in the present, I know that I am “handling” it, but there’s no other choice, is there? Handle it, or give up? I don’t want to be here, facing all of this, and yet, here I am, “handling” it. Is this what it means? That God doesn’t give you more than you can handle? Sure, my family and friends have suffered as a result of the abuse of my past. Is God giving them more than they can handle?
Maybe God expects me to be stronger than I feel.
I hear you. I do believe that God does not give more than you can handle. Still, I question why it is so painful. We may NEVER know and probably will not know a lot of things why they happen here, until we get to the otherside. And even then, I probably will not question why, as I will be in glory. So, this is my hope that helps me get through those days when it is totally a bear to get through and the anger in unbelievable. I hope this helps dear one. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteI wish I had the faith you have.....someday, maybe.....
ReplyDeleteIt ain't that easy for me SG. But, it is comforting. I can only pray that one day, through your pain, that you will be able to feel God's love. I am still working on it too, but each day it is a work in progress. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your prayers...it's hard for me, the 'faith' thing....so many times I reached out only to find silence in my pain.....
ReplyDelete~ Grace