Saturday, March 28, 2009

I am Empty

I have an ache in my heart and my thoughts are running wild. I try to find the words to express how I feel, but the words won't come.

If this were a poem, I could express myself. If this were a song, I could sing what I wanted to say. But to just write it down, no euphemisms, no bullshit... no matter what I write- it isn't exactly what I want to convey. My heart beats itself against my ribcage in hopes of escaping this ugly and unwanted shell of an empty dying soul. Where do I go from here?

I feel nothing now… I am an empty, hollow “done with all the emotions” and stuck in neutral….and for the life of me I can’t figure out what’s wrong. What led to this moment?

What’s wrong with me? I think I may be broken.I struggle with faith, my purpose in life, my value. I wish I could just forget. Forget about the people who hurt me. Forget about the pain. Why does it matter? I'm afraid of the girl inside of me. She's full of rage, bitterness, hate, guilt and sadness....... (she's not a nice person) and yet, even with all of these feelings inside of her, she's totally empty... she is a hollow shell.

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