* No getting shit-faced drunk
* No od'ing on benzos and sleeping pills
* No waking up on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood
* No drunk emailing the therapist in fits of dissociative rage...
*** I suppose that's it.
Wait, "That's it"? Hell! That's "Enough"! For now!
I am not 'undermining' the above successes...
I just find it ironic that I can divert my feelings of rage, and desire to control to other ways that are perhaps as maladaptive, but just don't seem to bother anyone else because I have chosen to keep quiet and they don't show on the outside.
See, as long as there's no od'ing, outward cries for help, or visual scabs/scars or burns...no one notices, or cares...because it doesn't show. I cannot believe it took me this long to figure this out! I've decided there is no reason to cut myself to alleviate the overwhelming pain...I've wanted too - but I haven't done it. There's still pain ~ all the time...I just control it in other ways, socially acceptable ways that do not bleed out into other folks present moments.
Stubborn petulant child! She is a willful one, isn't she?
Her secret, you ask?
A pretty smile and a mask...you can get one too - and decorate it however you like...but it must always be worn in public.
Take a bow Grace....Keep Living the Dream, Girl!
and never, ever....ever...cry out loud!