Sunday, November 8, 2009

Every night is a nightmare with demons and monsters invading every inch of my body...But every 'day' is a gift

He will stay here, and he will taunt me and he will hurt me. 
And it is as scary and as paimful now as it was then...
But I will deal with it.
Even if it means remaining frozen in this chair until the sun comes up.
I will not "reach" out - or "ask" anyone for anything!!!

Trial for Gracie
Trial for Gracie by

I "hope you can understand that these are my limits and boundaries".

I will not ask for "love" or "support" ~ in the face of expected abandonment...I will make the choice to 'deal with it" now - alone!
 I will just sit here - frozen in this hell - until the sun comes up.

But tomorrow morning, when the sun does break in the East- I will once again put on the mask and walk on sunshine.
Tomorrow morning as I walk by the receptionist in the lobby on the way to my office, hiding my bloodshot eyes behind my Kate Spade sunglasses as I carry a grande triple shot latte designed to wake me up from another long night of no a business suit and heels, smiling from ear to ear, I will say what I say every morning, "Good morning, Sunshine! I am living the dream! Couldn't be better if I was twins! Every day is a gift!" 
And I will hide behind that mask because it's safe. 
And because I understand that no one will ever accept the Grace behind the mask. 

That's okay - it's all ok....Every day is a gift.... 
Every night is a total nightmare complete with demons and monsters invading every orifice of me...
But every day - every day is a gift 
I was designed more for public than for private, you know.
I am living the American Dream....
Every single day is a gift. 


  1. I think you might consider making a voodoo doll of the man whore and beating the holy fuck right out of it. Then you can send it to me and I'll set the son of a bitch on fire (cock first, of course).

  2. I love you is Rambo I'm writing too, yes?
    XOXOXO!!! Grace

  3. You know me so well. I'd say that makes me one lucky mofo. And I love you, too.

  4. Ah...and you "accept" me even though I'm a kick ass polyvore artist? How sweet of you :-)

  5. I accept everything you are. And it's not sweet of me, it's my privelege.

  6. Stop it...i've cried enoug today - people will think I've had an allergic reaction to something tomorrow at work!

  7. I use that excuse, too. I also put Preparation H on my eye-bags!