Thursday, February 12, 2009

Dear Therapist ~ Time Flies

Dear Therapist
I miss you like a child misses her mother
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you
Or wonder how it could have been different
I hurt inside, so I shut myself off to the world
And I miss the feeling of security and care
You once provided me
What is happening to me?
Things start to look up, I start to feel better
But then something happens
And I fall down, once again
I don't understandwhy I cannot allow myself to be happy
Why is happiness a forbidden word?
I still feel my crushed spirit being speared
Time flies but it kills at the same time
Dear Therapist,
All those years of being hurt
By my mother, my father, and now you
I would say your recent lack of support killed me again
but I was already dead inside
I know, and I remember, that you were with me, for awhile
I still remember your support, and the void it has now left
Deep inside of me.
Am I still alive?
Is this some horrible nightmare?
What happened to you?
Where did you go?
Who is this stranger now wearing your skin?
I see you, but I can't hear you anymore
Time flies but it kills at the same time
Dear Therapist
I feel I can't do this anymore
Fight this constant battle that goes on inside of me
The battle of good and evil, life and death
If you couldn’t do it, than no one can help me
What did I do that was so wrong?
Why do I deserve this pain?
I miss you, my Dear Therapist
I miss your warm nature, your reassuring voice
I miss the safety I felt in your office
It is hard to believe that after so many years
I can still feel so much pain
And it never lessens, or gets any better
The more time that passes
The more it hurts~ but you’re no longer here
With me, fighting this battle
I don’t know if I can fight it alone
Time flies, but it kills at the same time

1 comment:

  1. wow, this post really struck me today. I too had therapist problems. they just don't understand and their abandonment just re emphasizes the wounds that are already gaping open. the next couple of days I write about my mom, the woman who abandoned me, and the hope in forgiving her. thanks for reading my blog, and for your support. i gain a lot of insights coming and reading. thanks.