Baptized in the holy water of psychotherapy

In the last 3 years I have spent a lot of money on "therapy"... I haven't taken the time to "add" it all up, but I assure you, it's significant~ I could have probably purchased a new Ford Focus.

Someone once told me that in this 'battle'

"Therapy is not a luxury, but a necessity."

Just to be clear, I am not remorseful about the time or money I have spent, but I do find myself wondering if there will ever be 'closure'. I wonder if someday my dear therapist, and my psychiatrist and my 'radical acceptance' counselor, and my nutritionist will take my clinical chart (which has more pages than War and Peace) and stamp "HEALED" on it in red ink, and file it away in the 'dead files', never to be reopened. I wonder.......

The reason I wonder is because the past 6 months have been harder for me than the first 2 years. I believe I have made progress, but through researching on my own, it appears that I am still standing on the first step in this process....the first step of many.

Some days I feel defeated, I question the point of all of this 'therapy' and I find myself thinking that I could be baptized, submerged in the *holy water* of psychotherapy/cognitive behavior therapy/supportive therapy - and I would still not be *cleansed* from this.

Today is one of those days...................