Thursday, February 26, 2009

Can You Spare a Life Jacket?

Here is a brief summary of how I think the last year played out:Grace will need to learn to trust DT before she will feel safe. DT will make Grace feel safe by ‘being present’ for Grace, by developing a level of ‘dependency’ so Grace will realize that DT is a ‘permanent object’ and will not abandon Grace.
Grace now trusts DT, but by working through things, Grace has begun to exhibit self destructive behavior that made DT change her approach~ however, ‘new approach’ was not explained to Grace. DT takes Grace on a cruise to the middle of the ocean, and unbeknownst to Grace, who still trusts DT, other plans are now in the works. Grace is thrown from the ship into the tumultuous water, and as Grace looked around for DT, she sees her on the ship, waving goodbye, standing with her DBT friends/support group for clinicians, holding a sign that says “SINK or SWIM”….because after all, DT has tried to do everything she can for Grace and Grace continues to be ‘emotionally disregulated’. Maybe this will ‘scare’ grace into shape. Grace cries out, begging DT for a life jacket, but DT can’t hear Grace any longer, and off she goes, smiling and laughing with her ‘DBT support group’ while Grace is left to be eaten by the sharks inside of her head.
Bye Grace…call me when you get your shit together… And now, now that I am back in functional, adult mode…NOW you want to *SUPPORT* me? Well, it’s a bit too late for that, don’t you think? What can you offer me now? It takes a lifetime to build trust and only a moment to break it. And it’s broken now.

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