Sunday, April 5, 2009

Call Now! Limited Time Offer (888) PTS DSUX!

Call NOW this offer won’t be available for long!

FOR SALE:A life full of A&D (anxiety and depression). A&D comes complete with the following accessories: self-hatred, shame, guilt, pain, self-destructive behaviors, suicidal thoughts & worthlessness. A&D comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Act now and we’ll throw in an eating disorder: a combination of starving, purging & cutting, as well as a year’s supply of water pills and laxatives~ AT NO EXTRA CHARGE! Call within the next 30 minutes and you will also receive insomnia, frighteningly realistic nightmares, constant exhaustion, and hours of crying each day!


We will also throw in intrusive flashbacks and body memories that will make impolite grand entrances at the most inopportune times, that will leave you physically exhausted and emotionally unable to cope with anything in your present life.


Included in this limited offer: tireless voices who will argue with each other relentlessly, never giving you a moment of peace! The voices will also coerce you into doing self-destructive things; such as cutting yourself, drinking too much, bruising or burning your flesh. COST: Your health, happiness and sanity. An exceedingly small price to pay for owning a lifetime of anxiety and depression! You must be willing to sacrifice your social life and your physical health, but you can relax knowing that anxiety and depression will stay right by your side through it all! A&D will also introduce you to doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, possible group therapy…. And much, much more!!!!

MAINTENANCE: You must be willing to pay $1000.00s of dollars each year for drugs, individual psychotherapy AND group (DBT) counseling as well as ‘medication management’ (includes weekly visits to a psychologist, weekly ‘emotion regulation classes, and a monthly visit to the psychiatrist). To ‘manage’ some of the ‘symptoms’, and to ‘stay alive’ you will be required to take a cocktail of medication every day. Some meds in the morning, some on the evening and you will need to ensure you are organized and take them on time~ missing a dose would mean increase of symptoms (intrusive thoughts/body memories – fear and sadness). The side effects of A&D require ‘maintenance’ items on hand at all time: bandages, Kleenex, sleeping pills, and clothing in a variety of sizes (mostly long-sleeves to hide the scars). You must also devote several hours daily to maintenance, and be willing to lie to your family and friends to protect it.

Don't you want to be the envy of all of your friends? What's stopping you! Don’t delay this offer won’t be available for long.

Don't Delay! Pick up the phone and call today!

(888) PTS DSUX A free razor will go to the first 30 callers!

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