DT: As you know, I'm not really an expert in the field of theology; however, perhaps I'm still struggling so much because we are going down the wrong therapeutic path. I don't think DBT or drugs, or even EMDR are the answers to my overall "problems". I think the answer might be for us to work with a demonologist and/or an exorcist- to get these crazy people out of my body. I have rummaging around the internet and there are some experts in this field! I suggest we contact them and inquire about the services they offer! Because it is truly like the Amityville Horror inside my head! And I’m pretty sure the gateway to hell is running right through the center of my body! I am tormented and terrorized every single night! And I think this is something we need to investigate tout de’ suite! Before it’s too late! I say that I need the help of a demonologist ‘humorously’ because in all honesty, if I don’t interject some humor into how I truly feel possessed, then I will listen to the ‘bad voices’. And I also say it because I am truly at a loss for what else to try at night when I am possessed by him, by them…when I am no longer in control!
And if I were truly a Haunted House, what would be the logical steps to take? Call in a priest or a Demonologist, or BOTH~ to try to get rid of the ghosts and reinstate a sense of peace. If you have another suggestion, and believe an exorcism to be extreme, I am all for it! But I need something to quiet the conflict in my head, I need something to alleviate the pain inside of my body…and I need to happen soon!
I am not alright. I am certainly not *normal* and I don’t know what else to do…
Are you still involved with DBT? Everyone is different, but whenever I was using any kind of CBT approach, I felt possessed, too. I didn't understand why back then, but now I know that I was telling the injured inside that it didn't matter if they were sad, hurt or terrified and that they and their experiences had been declared inappropriate and disruptive. It was cruel to be invalidated like that by what basically amounted to pretending and denial. This was a retraumatization because the same had been demanded of me when I was a child. The CBT/ DBT stuff made those inside get desperate and then they started making a lot more head noise. And the more I practiced DBT and CBTs, the more it pushed them down until they had no choice but to break through suddenly in desperate attempts to stay alive. That appproach nearly ended my life. It was so damaging, that the topic is still a MAJOR trigger. It just seems really sick somehow to go, "Yeah, I feel really sad and I have to smile about it." Ick. It's crazy-making.
ReplyDeleteNo more DBT for me! I hate the f-ing flying nun and she can kiss my SI, dissociative ASS! I still get pissed off at my T because she made me go...I needed to "learn the skills" (IOW- shut up and behave!)
ReplyDeleteAnd I feel the same way about it retraumatizing. I dropped out after I consistently left the classes more "emotionally disregulated" than before th class started! My husband was all for it at first, but after 6 weeks - he told me it was doing more harm than good!
OMG! Just the thought of the "half-smile" makes me puke! Yes, Marsha, how bout you "half-smile" and "radically accept" it when you're molested by your father for years and you still relive it every night!