Sunday, July 19, 2009

Embrace your "inner child"

I commented on a post about comforting the "inner child" ~ on Marj's blog..."Helping your inner child help you." It was such an insightful posting, educational but also personal. And touching on a topic I am not yet able to "deal" with. I admire those like Marj, who seem so much further along on this "journey" than I.
In fact, the 5 year old inside of me, the little girl who whines and cries and begs someone to help her...well, I hate her. I hate everything about her! I hate that she exists, I hate that she is weak, I hate her! In fact, the angry, fighting teenager inside of me "deals" with her every night. And "dealing" with her involves no "comfort", I can assure you.

How do I "accept" someone who is unlovable?

How do I "accept" someone who now causes me nothing but pain?

I can't ~ because I feel like its her fault the rest of us are struggling so much right now!

"Embrace her"? How? I hate her! I'd rather kill her!

1 comment:

  1. I can understand how you would feel this way. I hope this will change, as it did for me. Because YOU deserve to be embraced. YOU deserve to heal. YOU deserve to feel good for a change, damn it! Maybe it would help to think of yourself (or look at a picture) as a small, little helpless baby. We all were one, once. Maybe a baby, instead of a five-year-old, would be easier to start with. Something to think about anyway. The point is: YOU deserve love, peace and healing (all of you) and this is my wish for you.