"Grace, penny for your thoughts"...What I'm thinking right now!

Did you know that the underside of your forearm is the most sensitive part of your whole arm? It's the place where your veins look like a small river...winding through your arm, flowing through the rest of your body.

When you make a fist the tiny veins pop up and are very close to the thin layer of skin that protects them. As I gently touch the visible scars on my own forearms...I rock and pray for my head to clear.

I want to cut myself... I want to sit on the floor, wrap myself in a blanket & slice through my skin. I want to watch the dark red blood run down my pale skin like a red river.

I want to see the pain that burns in my chest and takes my breath away.

I want to feel the pain on the outside of my body to make sense of the searing pain inside of me.

I wish I had someone to hold me while I cried.

I've never had that.

That's what I'm thinking about right now.