Saturday, January 2, 2010

Around and around and around we go….where crazybrain stops nobody knows...not even her

I thought it was only my body he destroyed, but sadly, while he destroyed my body, they both destroyed my mind. And now, every ounce of grey matter has been infiltrated with trauma, making every thought so distorted, it is as though it is seen and processed through a carnival mirror. I still have an above average IQ, and can speak intelligently much of the time, but only when it is about logical data that has no emotional impact on me whatsoever.  Take away the logic, and the statistical data, and throw in some sort of (ICK) feeling or emotion...and CB takes over and that girl is on a personal mission to *distort and destroy*...and not even kryptonite will stop her!

Friday afternoon, I was lying in the bathtub (my favorite hangout lately) and suddenly my *crazybrain* became strangely fixated with the well-being of the therapist’s cats. I can give some insight as to why these thoughts started flying through the frontal lobe, but alas, to a *non-crazybrain* (a *not-crazybrain*, or an *un-crazybrain*, if you will)  it ain't gonna make sense.

But here goes....I know that the therapist isn’t always home at night and on the nights she isn’t home, crazybrain wanted to know who was taking care of her cats. That’s really how it started...suddenly, all rational thought processing went right down the drain with the water from the bathtub and all CB kept thinking about were those poor little kitties at home without their mother to love them and keep them safe because she was at the BF’s house.  And the poor kitties were left alone to fend for themselves. Now, by this point, CB had worked herself into such a state of anxiety, she actually called the therapist to find out the state of the poor kitty-cats. Yes, seriously, she did...and that phone call was only the beginning of Trauma Brain Defcon 5 Day...

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