Tuesday, June 23, 2009

TO: the Co-worker who used to be normal but has since turned into a relentless stalker:

Please understand that I am not interested in ‘chatting’ with you about your *personal problems* - that’s what therapists are for…

Please don’t offer to bring me coffee in the morning.

Please don’t walk by my office 10x to see if my door is open.

Please don’t send me any personal emails

Please don’t tell me to have a good evening.

Please don’t ask me how I am – it’s truly none of your business, and if I wanted you to know “how I’m doing” I would tell you.

Please don’t tell me you’re ‘thinking’ of me if you notice that I have an appointment on my calendar ~ in case you haven’t noticed, I now mark them private.

Please don’t complain to me about your wife ~ I’m really not interested in your marital relationship – again, that’s what therapists are for.

Please don’t send me any drunk text messages, or really, any text messages EVER!

Please don’t tell me you “care” about me, as I have expressed to you several times, the feelings of “care” are not reciprocal and it just makes my skin crawl, and restricts my breathing.

Please don’t “stop” me when I walk by your office for idle “chit-chat”, there’s a reason why I never look your way.

Please don’t ask me to go to lunch with you. I’ve said no for over a year, I’m not going to suddenly say “yes, I’d love too!”

If I respond to a ‘work’ email – please do not send back a personal response or ask a personal question – I will not respond to either.

Yes, we used to be friends. I used to enjoy your sense of humor and our working relationship….but now you just creep me out and make my skin crawl.
In fact, I find you rather scary, and triggering, in a stalker kind of way…and your behavior reminds me of ‘bad’ things that happened in my past.



  1. Ewwww.....so this is a male doing this right? I think he is also over stepping is grounds, if he is married, as you mentioned and wants to invade your space, i.e. lunch etc. more than ever. This is not good for you Grace. Are you allowed to keep your door closed, or is that against your company's policy? Why does he NOT get your hints. Does he find this intriguing that you are trying to avoid him????

  2. JBR - YES! And he USED to be "normal" - but then last Summer freaked out and told me he's "in love" with me - and I have told him 100 times that I don't have any feelings for him - I am HAPPILY married!!!! He's been married for 24 years and has 4 daughters. You would think he would want to set a good example for his own daughters! His wife suffers from chronic depression and has never worked. I'm not really sure what his "intrigue" is - and frankly, if someone tries to "smother" me with constant UNWANTED communication - it completely freaks me out!
    Yes, I can keep my door closed (one of the benefits of being a Sr Executive and in charge) but I don't want my office personnel to think I'm completely unavailable!
    My admin is aware of my "concerns" with him - I print any "freaky" emails or "TMs" he sends me - But I Feel trapped and smothered - and it is so triggering for me! Like I cannot do what I want or need to do! Does that make sense? *URGH! it's so frustrating! I even told him once, "GO TO LUNCH w/your wife!"

  3. Ugh is right. Keep documenting stuff that he sends, just in case.