But others in my life had a different point of view and chose to celebrate my birthday because they wanted to celebrate me. My day started at 4:50am, when my dear husband leaned over and with a gentle kiss on the cheek wished me happy birthday before leaving for work. At 6:30a my beautiful son and daughter wished me happy birthday, complete with birthday hugs and kisses.
Upon arriving at work, I opened my office door to find a gorgeous hand crafted birthday cake made of roses that my administrative assistant left for me. It was breathtaking and it touched my heart to know that she thought that much of my birthday, a day that was really never mentioned when I was a child. I had gift cards for movie theaters, cards from the office and a spa gift certificate from the staff. My direct reports took me to lunch…I couldn’t believe that I meant that much to people in my work life.
I had emails and voicemails and text messages from friends wishing me happy birthday. I even had a friend leave a singing message on my phone. My friends made me feel cared for and appreciated.
I had an appointment with dear therapist this afternoon. Last week she suggested we think about making mother’s day and my birthday into something positive and angry girl balked at that idea ~ how would we go about doing that? The facts are the facts. I was never wanted. My mother ingrained that into my head very early on, and she never let me forget it. During our appointment I was sharing with DT how I was trying to ‘take care’ of all of us at night, efforts at being ‘proactive’ to head off the storm before it hits the coast of Grace. I made a book with specific things DT has said to me in emails past, things that comforted all of us, made us feel cared for and wanted. Made us feel like we mattered. I showed her this book today and she seemed impressed at the effort I put into making it.
Tonight DT sent me an email as she does every Monday night: "Grace, You will be ok and you are not "crazy". I am thankful to have been a part of your 38th Bday if only in session and in thoughts. Be good to all of "you" tonight...! I insist! Happy Birthday to every little, big, mature, immature, smart, inexperienced, mad, sad, happy part of you! Dear Therapist."
Today, Grace feels loved. Happy Birthday, Gracie. You got through today with Grace & Style! And you are loved...