Saturday, May 9, 2009

God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

A Newborn's Conversation with God A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"
God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."
The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."
God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel you angel's love and be very happy."
Again the small child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"
God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."
"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"
God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."
"Who will protect me?"
God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."
"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."
God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."
At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."
God said, You will simply call her, "Mom."
A very close friend of mine sent the above to me yesterday, via email. She found it very touching and wanted to pass it along to touch the heart of others. Here's the thing. I'm not trying to sound cynical or bitchy (wait, the word bitchy would make Marsha's hair barrette twist into her skull ~ I should, instead, say, 'emotionally disregulated') but I am not a fan of mother's day. I do have 2 children of my own and I cherish them every single day. I would give my life for them, and on the flip side of that, many days the only reason I stay alive is for them.
But the sad little Gracie inside of me cries because she knows she must be a terrible evil little girl because God didn't give her to a mother who loved her or cared for her. And so many times Gracie has asked, "Why God? Why am I not good enough for a mother's love? Why did I spend my years being abused and not loved? What is wrong with me?"
And adult Grace knows the answer, but she isn't able to comfort the little girl. Adult Grace knows she wasn't deserving, that she is bad, a child not even God could love.
I hate mother's day. And I hate my 'birthday too. Neither are days for celebration. Not for me. Last year my birthday was on Mother's day - this year it's the day after. So I can extend the pain for 2 days - and on a DBT night - if that doesn't call for a suicidal strawberry cocktail, I don't know what does!


  1. Oh dear one. I pray these next two days pass quickly for you. Thank you for sharing the touching story. Blessings to you dear one, as always!

  2. i was having a little trouble with mother's day too. that story/message about mothers as angels is kind of heartbreaking (or it is to me) because even though a few of the things it described happened so much of it didn't/doesn't with my mother. and i can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to have that. at least the day is over so we won't have to hear it 'til next year.

  3. JBR, almost at the finish line and still in one peace...there have been touchy moments, but overall, I thnk I've actually done "ok". Thank you so much for your continued support - it means a lot to me.
    ~ Grace

    eeabee, Whew! You're right about the 'over' part - I actually spent most of the day painting and it helped me get through...well, until I sat down...then distraction time over, reality sets back in.
    Take care ~Grace