I am currently hanging on to my sanity by the barest threads, doing everything in my power to ignore the tightness in my neck and the pain behind my eyes and my back and hips which are screaming at me as I TRY NOT TO FREAK OUT RIGHT NOW AFTER NO SLEEP FOR OVER 48 HOURS!!! Internal terror! And I. am. Going. Insane! I have a strong will. Yes, I am quite willful! I am sitting on the floor. And rocking. And my body is screaming. And I cannot get warm.
I am trying to slow my breathing. I am trying to calm myself down. I am trying to remember where I am. I am trying to figure out where I am. I am trying to know that I am safe. I am trying to keep myself safe. I am trying to keep myself safe. I am trying to keep myself alive. I am trying to stay alive. I am trying to keep breathing. I am trying to breathe.
But it is still this moment, right now, this frightful moment, and all I can do is just try to live through it.
I press a pillow to my face and scream.
I wish I could say that I don't know what you're talking about, but I do know very much like how you feel. All I can do is send safe, warm, cyber hugs your way ((((((((((Grace)))))))))))
ReplyDeletehey grace, friend.
ReplyDeletei am so sorry that you are hurting.
i wish i could somehow hold or help and heal...
i am thinking of you.
so hard. i know the rocking, the sleepless pain, the pleading and begging for relief.
so hard. i am sending you prayers, hope, and good thoughts.